the problem

it's just not subversive, anymore.
it's been done
would be great to live like that; to be a hippie
to make art and music and just
just BE

but it's been done
and then it was real
it was something
something important
and now it's just...copying
trying to bring back something you can't relive, because it can never be the same

the beats were doing something new
important (as i've already said)
it wouldn't feel...productive in its unproductiveness.
and, unfortunately, that's the only way i could justify doing something like that
is if it were meaningful in some larger, cultural way

but since it's been done
since we've moved past it as a society
it's useless, now
defined as a historical moment or moments
and now doing so makes you feel guilty
for not having a job

even if you grow your own vegetables

which, let's face it, i would not be able to do
SIDEBAR: I have a plant. I have no idea what it is. It has almost died more times than I can remember. I
don't know how one is supposed to water it, but I do so occasionally. The poor thing.

So.
That's that. If I go back, I can't go back.
I can't BE

lame

When TV just doesn't help anymore...

I hate it when loneliness sneaks up on you and you can't shake it.
At least I know this, too, shall pass.
(And return.)

shit

i think i could fall in love
it can't be that easy

homygodilovemadmen
It is SO GOOD.
Wow

eleven months

...and counting.

a lot of bad things happened this past long weekend.
but the good things were seeing all of Rte6A with my mom, seeing Marion's family, seeing Dale. And being with my mom. It's lonely here, now.

There are so many dance classes to take that require little or no commitment--I like that. Because of this, I can now fake the balboa, especially if the lead is good. I never sweat so much as when I'm dancing. Lindy really is a winter sport.