whoa...

i have the same amount of money (give or take a few cents) in both of my checking accounts. freaky...

shallow alert!

i'm about 130 pounds, again. strange thing is, only a week ago i was remarking to myself that i was fairly happy with my body (minus the thighs, which i would just want less squishy, not smaller.) And then i weigh myself the other day and it says i'm 130! shit, man. maybe it has something to do with the clothes i wear as opposed to the ones i was wearing in 7th and 8th grade, but i don't feel nearly as fat this time around. sure, sometimes i feel fat, but i ALWAYS sometimes feel fat.

so, speaking of fat, i think i'm going to try to cut it out of my diet for a while and see if i can last without delicious food and if anything happens. i will also exercise more (having a job is no excuse!) and hopefully, if i don't lose weight, at least i'll b less squishy.
right

just a dream?

why do i want a baby right now? having fantasies about breastfeeding. ugh. it's scary to think that i really do want one. i want those experiences. well...the good ones, anyway. i want those feelings.

why do i live so far away, with nobody, really, but a boy i adore but haven't technically been with for over a year who doesn't want to meet my parents?

writing

the keys are so perfect
round; silver
say it: round
ahhh

writing writing...i really miss it sometimes

lately we've been...it's been nice. a little--i won't detail. but oh he's wonderful. and the mornings are the best. snuggly and warm and...beautiful
ugh
enough drivel***
she wrote, "i will be someone's story," and thought it wistfully. wistfully. and then was gone. and she was right. and this is that someone's story. hers
***

a brief sample. all i got, so far,a nd it's already 6 mo old. it's never coming back, is it?