unattainable

no sooner do i free myself than i trap myself again
will i ever make a decision i won't regret?
will i ever be happy and not miss things and people?
i miss my portland life, and now it's farther away than ever

what have i done....again?

two damn things

"...maybe we could go out sometime..."
"sure..."

---

who am i close to?
nobody

i am at odds with myself

i am split between my two parents. half of me wants to just chill and enjoy being a couch potato, and the other half can't sit still
oy

he worries too much

damn it. the one time i didn't push it, he actually wanted to.
i missed the opportunity; i'm a little pissed. we could have talked, cried, and then done it. like old times.
ah, well, i'm still happy for the rest. that was also wonderfully like old times. i wonder what would have happened had i stayed...

I haven't written in SO LONG
people really do change