i want my old life to still be here, waiting for me, if i come back. and i really want to come back. but only if i can have everything back.
this is impossible and selfish, but i can't help irrationally wanting this. or wanting him to move with me. baltimore would be fine. but close. ideally, close enough so that i could go over everyday, like now.

he won't wait for me, and he shouldn't, and maybe i'll go on a few dates in dc. but we're good together. we work. and i don't want that to change.
i want the love to stay
across the distance
across my betrayal.
please still love me