nostalgia is my kryptonite

Just because it's in the past, it is better.
This is the fallacy by which my heart-strings are tugged, by which I experience memories and imagine the future.

I find myself fantasizing about moving back to DC; actually flirting with the idea of thinking seriously about it. And it's not just because of the one that got away and will continue to elude me--this I know. It is fundamentally about this problem of mine...I want to use the word "ontology," just to solidify its meaning, but this is the wrong word. An underlying cosmology, perhaps? This assumption--no, more base than that--the unconscious framing of the past as inherently better. Always looking back through rose-colored glasses, even at a place that was miserable. But, I think, this time, in the future, I could do it better. Because I remember only the good parts--the parts made good by virtue of their being past.

And this is my downfall
why I can't out
move on
get going...get doing

for real
in the present