do you even care, to see me go? to think of me going?
maybe you mean more to me than i do to you. sure, i'm a fixture in your life right now. but maybe you're READY for that to be over.
maybe i'm an annoyance; a nuissance, with occational pluses.

but i do a lot for you
maybe you don't realize it
and maybe you won't when i'm gone

but to not even express a little regret at the idea
that is what makes me sad
makes me feel...not worthless. but unappreciated. unspecial.
and you are so special to me.

enough
maybe you realize something i don't. maybe you realize that this would be better for us both, somehow.
but i'm not ready for that, yet
and i thought you loved me

jud seuss

i keep having german people coming into work, and i totally think of things to say to them that are grammatically correct and would make sense in the social context at the moment, and i keep chickening out.
damn it

man

DC life would be sweet

not gonna lie

jury duty kinda rocked

"do androids dream of electric sheep?" no, but i think they could. (actually, that should be a "yes" there, but the "no" sounded better with the sentence and the flow. hehe)

right
that was supposed to be succinct. you win again, stream of consciousness.
nes
ness...


i want to go to knott's berry farm
so bad

i have it pretty damn good.

God is a spaghetti monster

I want david to be someone he's not. And he wants me to be something I'm not. Okay, I could be less uptight. But yeah. I want him to be happy and normal, but retain his quirky wonderfulness, and i want him to want to be with me. And I also wish I were more like Amanda or Piera. Because then we'd get along better in public. It's not good, that we're so good together, except in public. And he won't meet my family. And I won't let him go.

I just wish it would work. I want to be with him, normally-ish. But I pretty much know I can't ahve that with him.

There is more to this mess, but I don't want to think about it right now. Or more than I ahve to. Even though I should probably get help. Because I can't do this alone. I can't save him alone.